


Lee Felix is a Boy

by YongbokkieSunshine



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bullying, Changbin thinks Felix is handsome, Depression, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Gender Dysphoria, Homophobia, Hyunjin is a dick, Internalized Transphobia, JiLix best friends, M/M, Minor Angst, Mutual Pining, Slurs, Trans Lee Felix, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, seungjin if you squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:54:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22818829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YongbokkieSunshine/pseuds/YongbokkieSunshine
Summary: Lee Felix is a transgender boy in his junior year of high school. Nearly his entire school is transphobic and no one accepts him except his best friend, Han Jisung. Not even his mother accepts him. Lee Felix is depressed.Seo Changbin is The New Boy™, and he thinks it’s ridiculous that people don’t accept Felix, Changbin thinks Felix is the most handsome boy he’s seen.//eventual cute fluffy changlix relationship, after the sadness u,w,u//
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a Prologue than a Chapter 1 but oh well

Lee Felix is a boy. He’s known that for a long time. He was just different from other boys, and no, not in an “I’m not like other boys” way, but in an “I was assigned female at birth” way. Yes, Felix was trans. He was trans and he hated himself for it. He didn’t want this. He only wished he could be cis, and mind you, he had tried for so long to force himself to be. It just wasn’t right. He was trans. And he couldn’t deny it, no matter how much he wanted to.

After a while of living with his realization, though, he became a little more confident in himself and got the courage to cut his own hair (without his mother’s permission of course) and bind his chest (a binder that his old friend, Choi San, had helped him acquire). And, that was a while ago. His mom didn’t accept him, she insisted he was her beautiful daughter, no matter how long Felix tried to get her to accept him, she just wouldn’t. She refused to use his real name, instead deadnaming him and even though he’d gotten used to it, it still hurt. So now, he played along. Pretended he was a girl, pretended to just like short hair because it was cute, not because it helped his crippling dysphoria. So, his home life wasn’t so great.

His school life wasn’t so good either. He and his mother had moved to a new town a year ago, and Felix saw it as a fresh start. He told all of his teachers and administrators to call him by Felix, and surprisingly, they obliged. He always came early, too. On the off chance they had a substitute, he was not going to let them deadname him. So, everyone knew Felix was trans, but at least no one knew his deadname, so that was one thing they couldn’t use against him. Even if they all hated him, bullied him, called him offensive names and terms, he tried not to let it get to him. That was, of course, very difficult. Of course it got to him. And for the first few weeks at that school he was alone, that was until he made one friend. Han Jisung.

Han Jisung was an erratic boy who was always happy. Felix envied him, honestly. Upon meeting Jisung whom had just asked him to be friends enthusiastically, he had told the older (by one day by the way) boy that he shouldn’t want to be friends with him and “Haven’t you heard? I’m trans. Go ahead and make fun of me like they all do.” He had hung his head low before he looked up when the boy giggled.

He had been looking down at him, smiling brightly. “So? You’re still a boy and I wanna be friends!” Felix had looked at him in surprise before hesitantly agreeing, and the two had been best friends ever since.

Now, Felix was in his junior year of highschool. Things were...not great. Everyone was constantly bullying him, still. You’d think they’d have thought of something better to do with their time, but no. And Felix was depressed, it was worse than ever. His anxiety was out of control and his dysphoria was tearing him apart. It felt like he would never get past this. Like he would never get to truly be himself. He didn’t know if he should blame his own internalized transphobia or the blatant outward transphobia of everyone around him. Either way, he felt like dying. His sleep schedule was a mess, he couldn’t help staying up all night with his worries on his mind. Why wasn’t he born cis? Why does he deserve to go through this? Why can’t the dysphoria just go away? It never went away.

However, despite how much of a mess Felix felt his life was at the moment, he always held on to a sliver of hope for the future. That’s all he had, after all. The future. Maybe, just maybe, things would change for the better someday. Maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW//Slight Transphobia//

You’ll always be a girl! It’s in your DNA and biology doesn’t lie! Fucking dyke.”

Felix flinched under the boy holding him against the lockers, curling his nose in disgust as the other boy’s spit flung on him as he yelled. He should be used to this, but it never gets easier.

He fell to the ground as the taller boy dropped him harshly. “Remember your place, girl.” He laughed mockingly before he and his goons walked off, going to be dumbasses somewhere else.

Felix sat on the ground for a while before sighing and beginning to lift himself up, only stopping whenever he heard footsteps racing down the hall towards him.

“Oh my gosh! Felix! Are you okay? Was it Hyunjin and those dicks again?” Jisung frantically helped Felix up as he asked questions he already knew the answer to. Felix rose and dusted himself off before turning to Jisung.

“Of course it was. They don’t have anything better to do.” He shrugged, pushing his pain to the back of his mind. He tried his best to act like their words didn’t affect him, he knows Jisung wouldn’t leave him behind but he doesn’t want to risk anything. And honestly, words tended to hurt him quite a bit.

Jisung frowned. “Lix, you shouldn’t act okay if you aren’t. We talked about this, you can be vulnerable around me. I care about you.” his eyebrows creased in worry and Felix found himself feeling guilty that he had made the usually bubbly Jisung feel down. Despite this, he put on a small smile and placed his hand on Jisung’s shoulder in reassurance.

“I know. Thank you, we can talk about it later, okay?” Felix gave in. He did like their deep conversations, after all. They were comforting. Jisung perked up a bit at his words.

“Okay, good! Now, come on or we’ll be late for class. I hear there’s a new kid, maybe he’s cute!” Jisung wiggled his eyebrows at Felix and the younger boy laughed a little and rolled his eyes. Jisung knew that Felix was gay and was always trying to play wingman for him. I mean, there weren’t many options in his hetero-normative, cis-normative school, but he sure did try.

“Whatever Sung, now come on.” Felix reached down and gripped Jisung’s hand as they made their way to first period Math.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Math, everyone was rowdy as usual. Felix was just happy he had Jisung with him in this class, sure, Hwang Hyunjin and his gang of idiots weren’t here so that was another plus, but it was an even better plus that he had his best friend with him.

It was only about fifteen minutes into class when there was a knock at the door that distracted everyone, they had all been waiting for the new boy to get there as everyone was very curious who he was and what he looked like, how he acted, stuff like that. Felix tried to seem uninterested to Jisung but honestly even his curiosity was peaked.

“Oh my gosh, Lix, it’s probably the new kid.” Jisung patted him frantically on the shoulder and Felix spared him a nod and glance before looking back to the door that their teacher was currently opening.

The door opened and at once a boy walked in and oh. My. God. He was fucking handsome. He had on a white shirt that was tucked into his black pants with his fucking e-boy looking (in the best way possible) belt. And black patent Doc Martins. Felix nearly swooned.  
Was the air conditioner broken or was he just really flushed? His question was answered when Jisung tapped him.

“Wow Felix you’re blushing really hard, see, I knew he’d be hot!” Jisung giggled at Felix and he flushed even more, shushing Jisung and swatting his hand away to turn his attention back to the front of the classroom where the teacher was talking to the new boy.

Then, their teacher, Mrs. Kim, turned to talk to the class. “Okay, students, as you’ve heard, we have a new student joining us today! He is going to introduce himself real quick and then I want everyone to get back to work.” She gestured to the boy to start as she finished.

The room watched him in anticipation as he coughed before finally speaking. “Well, hello. My name is Seo Changbin. I like to write music and rap. And I like dark things. That’s all.” The class murmured to each other about him as Changbin’s eyes scanned the room, checking out his classmates. They scanned over Felix and moved on before coming back to him and stopping. Felix felt his hands get sweaty as Changbin looked at him. Was this a good thing or a bad thing? Was he going to bully him like everyone else.

“Alright, thank you, Seo Changbin. You can take a seat wherever is open and do whatever, I will catch you up next class.”

Changbin finally removed his eyes from Felix and Felix didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed, so he opted to turn around and talk to Jisung who was sitting behind him. No one was really working anyways.

“So Felix.” Jisung was smiling at him brightly as he rested his head on his hands. Felix sighed and smiled.

“Yes, Jisung?”

“The new kid was staring at you.” He wiggled his eyebrows for the second time that day and Felix jokingly began to question their friendship which resulted in a playful shove from Jisung before they carried on their conversations as usual, and everything was going fine until someone interrupted their conversation.

“Hey.” A voice spoke from the desk beside Felix’s and it startled him, making him jump slightly. He was going to ignore it, it was probably someone here to make fun of him. But then, he saw Jisung gasp lightly as the older had turned to look beside Felix and his curiosity got the better of him.

Turning to his side, he saw none other than Seo Changbin. The new kid. The really hot new kid who was staring at him a few minutes ago.

Felix felt his face flush once again as the boy stared at him.

A few seconds passed.

“Uh, hello?” The boy talked once again and Felix’s face got impossible redder as he realized the boy was waiting for an answer and he opened his mouth to speak.

“I-uh..I-h-hello…” He gave a small wave and Changbin laughed lightly and smiled.

“Nervous?”

Felix heard Jisung squeak behind him. “Oh my gosh of course he’s nervous, have you seen yourself?” Jisung spoke loudly and Changbin rubbed the back of his neck shyly.

“Ahaha, thanks...you are?” Changbin rubbed the back of his neck as he switched his attention to Jisung.

“Han Jisung! If we’re friends you can call me Sung, or Ji, or whatever!” Jisung spoke enthusiastically and it took Changbin by surprise as his eyes widened at the sudden burst of energy in the room. “And this is my best friend Lee Felix!” Jisung pat Felix on the shoulder happily.

“Hey! Seo! Come sit over here, you don’t want to sit with those freaks. The boy is gay and the girl’s a dyke!” An obnoxious shout came from the back of the room followed by laughter from that same direction. Felix felt himself shrink in his seat on reflex as he started shaking slightly.

Chabgbin looked back at the people in the back before turning his attention back to Jisung and Felix and speaking in confusion. “What?”

“Come on Seo, sit with us or be a freak like them!” More laughter echoed from the back as they tried to get Changbin to move away from Jisung and Felix.

Changbin ignored them to speak to Jisung and Felix. “What do they mean? Like, yeah I know what gay is obviously, I mean, I’m bi and all, but, aren’t you both boys? Or am I mistaken?”

Felix was nervous, but also relieved. Changbin was bi! He wouldn’t bully them in a homophobic way at least, and, he also passed apparently so that made him happy too. But now he was nervous. His hands were sweaty. What if Changbin was transphobic? He was probably going to sit in the back and make fun of him like everyone else.

Felix hesitantly looked behind him to find that Jisung was already looking at him, looking just as, if not more, worried.

His mouth felt dry as he looked at Changbin, who was still waiting for an answer.

“Um, w-well…” Felix spoke and Changbin looked a little taken aback. Damn. He must’ve realized his voice was feminine, which he might not have assessed through his stuttering earlier. Felix sighed. Well, maybe he was about to lose another potential friend.  
“I, um, I’m transgender…ftm.” Felix looked down, anticipating Changbin’s response.

Silence.

And then.

“So?” Felix looked up and Changbin shrugged as he spoke. Felix’s eyes widened.

“Y-You….you’re okay with that? You aren’t going to make fun or me? O-or ask me my deadname?” Felix spoke quietly and Jisung was silent. Both boys couldn’t believe it. No one ever accepted Felix other than Jisung. Without fail, everyone who found out he was trans would look at him in disgust or make fun of him.

Changbin spoke up “Of course not,” he said that as if it was obvious and Felix felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. “Is that something that happens often? I mean, other than those dicks back there?” He gestured to the back of the classroom with a nod and Felix glanced back there for a second. The people back there were whispering amongst themselves as they watched Changbin with shock.

“I….” Felix was at a loss for words and he heard Jisung cough behind him before speaking up.

“It only happens with like...everyone! This school is full of homophobes and transphobes. That’s why Felix and I stick together, we’re really each other's only friends…” He got quieter later into his sentence as he saw Changbin’s face morph into one of annoyance.

“Are you okay?” Felix asked Changbin quietly with concern.

“No! You mean to tell me that people treat you like this everyday?! They don’t hurt you physically do they?” Changbin looked angry.

“Well, I mean, yeah...sometimes. Mostly Hwang Hyunjin and his friends do the physical stuff…they’re probably the most homophobic and transphobic, honestly everything phobic, people here…” Felix didn’t want to anger Changbin more but he thought that was kind of unavoidable if he wanted to tell the truth, which of course he did.

Changbin looked angry but he also looked confused. “Okay that’s fucking terrible. But did you say Hwang Hyunjin? I doubt Hwang Hyunjin out of everyone has the right to pick on people and be homophobic!” Changbin gritted his teeth and Jisung and Felix looked at each other in confusion. Did they know each other somehow?

“What? What do you mean?” Jisung spoke up for the first time since Changbin had gotten angry.

“I really shouldn’t go around telling people’s business, but, I used to go to school with Hyunjin and he’s apparently not as I remember him. I’ll leave it at that for now. But you two listen up, I am your friend now. I won’t let people mess with you and if they do they’re gonna regret it. I promise. Consider me part of your group from now on.” Changbin spoke seriously as he looked at the two other boys. “You got that?”

Both boys nodded. “Yes, thank you…”

“Yes! I’m happy you’re joining us!”

Well. It seems there was a new outcast, Felix thought. And he was excited to get to know him better. Maybe they could be as close as he was to Jisung! Now he has two friends! That’s more than he’s ever had at one time since he realized he was trans. This was the beginning of something good, Felix could feel it.


End file.
